Wolves at Night - Manchester Orchestra

I’ve tried all this, and all that.  And where did I end up?  I am just this little fish with this little heart and desire for these little things to bloom and become beautiful and long lasting.  But where do they go?  They never quite make it.  Not here, at least. Not to my reality.  I don’t know where they go.  Perhaps continue on in the parallel universe that is my imagination, and never anything more.
Ah, I have too much of that.  Too many thoughts and not enough of them real.
Where do I go from here?  Do I still go on, and pretend it’s all as great as it always was?  How much more of this can I take?  How much more can I make.

Haha, oh.  I have so many fantasies worked up right now.  So many unreal people, so many unreal thoughts and personas.  I love it all.  But what happens when none of it becomes what I want it to become?  When my greatest imagination cannot pull through. 

I guess I do this.  Over & over again.

I sulk.  And then I find someone or something new.  And I am in this phase of constantly building it up, and building it up.  Until it all just welts away, and fades. And then I sulk.

~ You’ll be sick or feeling troubled or deeply in love or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time in your life. It won’t matter. Out of the blue, beyond any cause you can trace, you’ll suddenly realize things are not how you perceived them to be at all. For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You’ll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you’ll realize it’s always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won’t understand why or how.