It’s getting to be too much. I know I should be a little more considerate since I did break up with him out of nowhere after three years but he’s honestly making me sick. I do not find it cute at all when he begs for me to talk to him and give him another chance. I do not find it romantic when he tells me that he’s loved me since the day he met me and will never be happy again.

I do not want what we were. I don’t even know why I ever did. Nothing about the relationship seems appealing to me now, and it’s a little pathetic that he thinks it was so wonderful.

He made me feel like shit every single day. He always wanted to play little games, acting like he did not feel anything from anyone - not even me. Thinking it would make me so much more interested. Because that’s how I am. I see something broken in someone and I want to fix it. And so I was more interested all that time.
Then there was someone else. I never looked at other people, not only because he didn’t let me hang out with guys, but I thought I had the perfect guy. Then I met a guy who did it all. He was everything I wanted. He was adventurous and he had written a book as well as many other short pieces. He had a little band on the side of which he was the lead singer and he sounded so angelic. He worked out too, and we worked out together. And to top it all off - he had ambitions.

Little did I know, he also was broken. However, I could not fix it. Not even sure if I tired.

I don’t know if I broke up with him for this other new and exciting guy, or if I always sort of knew that he wasn’t the guy I wanted to be with. And finally I had some motivation. Because the moment I broke up with him I was so happy. I did not cry, I did not regret. I was truly relieved. I felt so… peaceful. It was so strange, really. I had broken up with him many many times and it was never anything like that. I had became a mess there after and always regretted it. 

But now I am happy. So why does he keep sending me all these emails? Why can’t he just move on, as I have. It’s sad, and although I hate to say it, it disgusts me.
I’m happy. I am starting to do the things with my life that I’ve always wanted to do. Why would I go back? Why now?