Last.fm - Taking Back Sunday Radio

Phase 1. I am the heart-breaker. I am the one who dated a guy for three years and out of the blue broke up with him for a completely incompetent reason. I am the girl he cries over. I am the girl he can’t get over & cannot quit thinking about. I stole his soul. It was almost like I was literally a part of him, and for me to just leave - he is empty. He is broken. He is still himself, just a worse version. No idea where to go or what to do. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone else or date anyone else. I was his. And I am apathetic. I couldn’t care less. I have moved on. A few times, actually. He cannot understand this. Three years invested. Three years. Now what?

Phase 2. I am heart-broken. I dated him for a little over a month and maybe I was blind but I thought things were going splendidly. Never yet did we have a serious fight. Maybe a serious disagreement, which would be our perception of love - or lack there of. Perhaps he could not handle the thought of being with someone other than his true fixation. He was never over her. But I didn’t want much from him, only fun. I admit I was on a steep path to falling for him. Maybe he sensed it. Maybe he was right there with me and he wanted to turn around, but knew that I did not. I wanted to keep walking. I wanted to see where this beautiful path ended up. There was so much to us. Working out, exploring new places. Meeting coworkers. Meeting parents. In my opinion, we were perfect. Perfect. I will never Forget this month. I will never regret this month.

Phase 3. I am indifferent. I am only willing to be a friend, although most days I try to lie to myself say “yes, yeah I want more. I want time.” Ah, I do want time. But time in this also means progressing. I want to stay here. I want this, and only this. I wonder why, but I cannot figure it out. Am I scared? Scarred, maybe? Or is this just how I am, naturally? Maybe my phase 2 made me feel alive when in reality… this is me. Indifferent, apathetic, awkward.

Phase 4. Who am I, here? They probably wouldn’t know, because I find it hard to give them my time. I do make promises to, though. I just can’t pull through. I do not want them in reality. I just want them through my phone. That is all. I come off sleazy, perhaps. Easy. Interesting. I am who they want. Oh and they want me so bad. But they can’t get me. No amount of persuasion. No amount of sweet words. You won’t get me.